Don’t Get Gamed

We first read The Game a few years ago on the suggestion of our hedge fund manager friend, Bobby. For the uninitiated, it’s a book of pick up techniques for lovelorn- loser- nerdy boys. We’re all for confidence builders, but The Game focused heavily on how to trick girls into bed. It’s also what VH1 based its show, The Pick Up Artist on with Mystery, who always wore crazy hats like this furry, Mad Hatter-inspired one. (Hello! We know you’re trying to hide your thinning hair!). Mystery, who features heavily in the book, teaches boys who either a) have really bad skin b) still live with their parents c) play way too much XBox or d) all of the above how to pick up chicks. In the shows defense—it did have a sweet element to it that the book lacked. All the boys inevitably cried when getting kicked off and thanked Mystery for showing them that they could talk to girls, have friends and aren’t destined to live in their parents basement forever.

Regardless, it has been a few years since the book came out and we thought the show would have blown the cover on all of the techniques. But at The Park in D.C. recently, we had a boy try to “game” us. We don’t want this to happen to you. Be on the lookout for flamboyantly- dressed guys who:

1. Ask if your friends are sisters or if you are best friends.

2. Ask you to describe a cube in a field or your ideal house or something similar that ends up revealing “deep psychological issues.”

3. The neg. This is where he’ll say something slightly negative to you, like you blink too much or your friend smiles more than you. This is supposed to mess with your mind and make you want to win him over.

Now, if you like the guy or are bored and just want to play along, by all means, do it. But if you find him overly aggressive or annoying, we find it best to go ahead and blow his cover, by telling him you know he’s “gaming” you. Word of caution: Move on quickly after that. The point of the strategies above is to keep you talking to him for longer, so it’s kind of a boomerang effect if by calling him on his scheming you end up spending more time with him. But we find that if you point it out, the guy will usually turn around with his tail between his legs.

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